You’re Engaged! …Now what?

You’re recently engaged! Great!

….but now what?

You’re going to have A LOT of people telling you what to do and giving their unsolicited opinion.

Here’s a no-nonsense approach to the initial steps of planning your wedding.

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This first bit of advice may be controversial, but…

Step 1: Book your Photographer.

I know, I know, it sounds a little backwards to find your dream photographer before even finding a venue.

But the photographer is the ONE vendor who SPENDS ALL DAY WITH YOU. More than your coordinator or planner. Even more than your partner. If you don’t jive, ain’t nobody having a good time.

If you have a dream photographer in mind, it’s worth reaching out to them to understand their availability–not to mention we tend to have all of the hook-ups with other fantastic vendors. A good photographer is used to helping you plan and problem solve. For example, if a venue cancels on a couple or weather goes awry, you can bet I have a list of other ideas and alternatives. When a couple books with me, they receive a 90 page guidebook on how to plan their wedding, not to mention I spoon-feed you the best vendors.

Please, please PLEASE do not underestimate the value of a good photographer when planning your wedding. We do so much more than “take photos,” and I often wish I could yell from the rooftops to find us first if you simply don’t know where to start.

First of all, there are a lot of ways to host a wedding.

Are you eloping? Hosting a traditional wedding? Micro wedding? Hybrid wedding? Elope first, party later?

There are a lot of ways to celebrate, but for now I’ll focus on how to find a traditional wedding venue.

Some things you may not first consider when choosing a venue (but still matter in way of logistics) are:

Getting ready spaces for both partners

Getting ready on-site will save SO MUCH TIME and logistically makes everything 10x easier.

Are there enough outlets for hair and makeup to set up? We also love a getting ready space with enough windows and natural light for them to work. Usually HAMU come prepared with supplies to create more outlet space, but it’s good to know ahead of time and alert them.

Bathrooms

Are there enough bathrooms for the number of guests you plan to have? For example, if you plan to have 150+ guests, you want to make sure it’s not a single stall.

Parking

This speaks for itself.

On-site coordinators or planners

This is another can of worms, but know that just because a venue comes with an on-site coordinator DOES NOT mean that they are available for when wine spills on your dress. Their job is to make sure the venue logistics themselves run smoothly, which is why most venue welcome outside coordination help. However, I have had some venues who have provided couples with excellent coordination (sometimes even better than the outside help). Definitely ask your photographer if they’ve worked at a specific venue before so they can advise you.

Proximity to airport, hotel, & other amenities

It’s not a dealbreaker, but it certainly makes things easier for your out-of-town guests.

Having a fun bar or restaurant nearby serves as a great home base for some of your guests.

Rules for outside vendors

Some venues require you to use their list of recommended vendors. Some STRONGLY suggest it. Just know that in some cases (but not every case), there is usually some commission-based incentive to pick from their list of preferred vendors.

There is some benefit to using vendors who frequently work at the venue, however. Especially when it comes to catering, bar tending, and some coordination services.

Outdoor & Indoor options

We would love to bet on it not raining on wedding day, but let’s not risk it. You need a plan B.

Bonus points if the venue is large enough to accommodate both a cocktail hour AND ceremony/reception flip.

Is there an option for a tent? It’s worth the ask if there isn’t specific infrastructure in place to accommodate a rain plan.

Step 3: Take a beat. Enjoy. The hard part is over.

Honestly, once you know WHERE you’re getting married, the rest is a lot easier.

Now, if we wanted to talk about HOW to get married (eloping, micro wedding, traditional wedding, hybrid wedding, etc.), that’s for another post on another day. But you can always talk to me or your photographer to come up with all sorts of creative ideas and alternatives.

Step 4: Start researching other vendors.

Again, this is where hiring a good photographer comes in, but in general, these are some things to think about when you’re starting to research.

First, I would say avoid websites like Wedding Wire, The Knot, and Zola. Not only are the vendors often scammed by bots pretending to be potential couples, but many vendors pay big money to be at the top of the search bar. If I’m being honest, I’ve found that word of mouth will always be best. Otherwise, here are some things to think about pertaining to selecting each kind of wedding vendor:

Coordination & Planning

My no.1 piece of advice to couples after booking me is to find a great day-of coordinator or planner (if they’d like to be more hands-off during the planning process). The photographer does a great deal of coordination throughout the day to make sure all make their mark, but having an extra set of hands to wrangle family and pack up your gifts at the end of the night lifts a burden you probably didn’t even know you would be carrying.

HAMU

Do they run on time? HAMU is the most common reason I’ve seen a wedding day run behind.

Florals

Florists have some of the highest overhead cost in the wedding industry. If there is a specific flower you want and it only grows during a specific time of year, that’s a conversation you need to have with your florist so they can manage your expectations.

Another alternative to real florals if you’re on a tight budget is more greenery and less florals, silk florals, wood florals, or paper florals.

DJ & Entertainment

A good DJ or band is worth everything. The best ones I’ve seen will actually MC and move the evening along, vs putting on a playlist and letting it run. Find someone who is INVESTED in keeping the party going.

Catering & Bartending

Fun fact, many venues will require you to hire bartenders in order to serve liquor. If you have a military member in the family, be sure to ask for a discount at local liquor stores (assuming you’re allowed to bring your liquor from outside the venue, which is always cheaper). As far as catering goes, buffets are usually the most efficient way to quickly serve guests, but I’m a sucker for family style or a plated dinner. If you’re opting for something like a family style dinner, make sure that the catering company provides enough staff to actually keep plates moving and to refill drinks.

Step 6: Download this Free Checklist.

This is a condensed checklist on how to plan your wedding in 6 months. You don’t have to do everything on this list, but it’s certainly a good place to start, and it may help organize your thoughts.

Overall, I hope you found this, at baseline, helpful. For more location-specific vendor and venue recommendations, feel free to reach out to me here.

I know planning a wedding can be overwhelming and kind of suck, but if you have a team of great vendors behind you, I promise it won’t be so bad. Enjoy this season of life (if you can).

Much Love,

KM